Bao: Exploring the Feelings of Being Dumped through Dumplings! - Madhura Ashokkumar

Pixar movies are preceded by short films, Bao being my favorite. These are really cute and usually saturated with metaphors and rife with literary analysis, and this movie is no different. Bao captures the emotions and transitions of an aging Chinese mother, feeling alone when her child moves out, and gets a second chance at motherhood when one of her dumplings comes to life. As the dumpling grows older, their relationship mirrors the challenges many parents face as they navigate the complexities of letting go and allowing their children to find a life of their own.

Empty nest syndrome is a transitional state that parents go through once their children leave home to make a living of their own. This experience includes feelings of loneliness, helplessness, irritability, caused by the feeling of abandonment after the departure of their children, to whom they have dedicated many years of their lives. In this situation, parents no longer know what to do without their children present at home as usual. Parents center much of their identity as providers and care-givers and having to step out from that role is really overwhelming. It can make them feel an identity crisis too.

I observed how this mother gave her life to ensure that her son does well for himself as an adult. She has been so devoted to her role as a mother, several other things that could make her feel whole as a person took a back seat. She is extremely attached to the dumpling and caring for it, this is her way of finding meaning in life. But this devotion is not entirely of her own making; it reflects the limited ways in which meaning is allowed for women in this society. She is unable to look outside this role. This leaves her feeling stranded.

The son introduces his partner and she feels further sadness. The thought of sharing him with another woman feels so threatening. She experiences possessiveness, fear of not being wanted and hence abandonment. That’s a lot of grief for her to sit with. Her husband gets out for work while she is consumed by these thoughts and feelings. As her son finds a path for himself, whatever was her day to day is now a mere memory. She mourns the loss of what was familiar, her son leaving, her son finding another woman and most importantly the only role she had done “mothering”. In this movie, we see how the characters keep up with societal gender role constructs. The mother cooks, does grocery shopping, runs the household and takes care of emotional responsibilities too. She feels an intense caregiver burnout that can further amplify her feelings of grief and identity crisis. The father, however, is only depicted twice in the film, both times being seated around the dining room table which is set by the mother. It is easy to feel worthless when the only worth society gives women is centered around household duties, child bearing and care. As a society we have normalised women leaving their jobs to take care of chores, growing families, complaining about burnouts- “Oh you are a woman, you will be burnt out”. How flawed a pattern that we as a society are thriving on?! Is womanhood just motherhood?

As mentioned earlier, Bao is my favorite Pixar short film. This film explores and invites viewers to examine and sit with themes of mental health and emotional well-being. It gently reveals how an individual's mental health is not just a matter of personal choices or inner struggles, but is deeply shaped by societal and cultural expectations—especially around roles like motherhood, sacrifice, and identity. The emotional terrain the characters navigate reflects how collective values can both give meaning and create emotional entrapment. This movie is a gentle reminder to take care of ourselves and find purpose beyond our roles in life. This movie invites us to sit with complex emotions and see what resilience can look like.

I am concluding this reflection with this poem by Kahlil Gibran. I chose this particular poem because when we centre much of our identity and meaning of life on how successful our kids are, it strains the relationship. When the love we have for our kids slips into expectations of future returns from them ( I give them love hoping they would give back when I age), the relationship starts to feel transactional. This adds to the pressure of being a “Good parent” and a “Good Child”. Gibran frees us from that burden: “Your children are not your children… They come through you but not from you.” Remembering this line reminds us that the love we give is already enough; our children’s paths, while passing through us, ultimately belong to them.

On Children - Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.